Mariah Carey is really really good at throwing

Mariah Carey threw out the opening pitch at the Yomiuri Giants vs Rakuten Eagles match at the Tokyo Dome yesterday, and let's just say it was the most impressive display of baseball I've ever seen in my life. Lord knows why she became a singer and not a professional pitcher. Seriously though, you'd think she would've prepared a little before showing up. It's like instead of practicing throwing balls, she decided to just break both her arms to make sure they wouldn't function correctly. She could've dropped the ball and sort of nudged it with her foot and it would've been just as impressive.

Patrick Swayze road-housin' pancreatic cancer

At the beginning of March, reports were circulating that Patrick Swayze only had five weeks to live. Well, over two months later, and using the same pic, I'm happy to post that Patrick is putting cancer's ass in the corner and responding well to treatment. Hopefully he'll be well enough to ghost ride the whip again. WE LOVE YOU PATRICK! =]

PARIS HILTON FRAGRANCE and ........ HAIR PRODUCTS?!?!

After spending some jail time for DUI charges, one would think Miss Paris Hilton's career would go down hill but....WRONG! Her line of clothing was introduced right after her released from jail, followed by her new Can Can fragrance and now Clipin-Go hair extenstions products!! Shall we refer Paris as the "hairess, instead of heiress?" Agree?

Heidi & Spencer ruin baseball for all future generations

Jesus! I thought these two only came out on holidays. Great, now it looks like Heidi and Spencer will mug like retarded sea-monkeys at any event. Even more disturbing is that it appears to be Bat Day and yet somehow they walked out with all their hair, teeth and limbs attached. I gotta ask: Dodger fans, why do you hate America so much? THAT'S WHY EVERYONE SHOULD BE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS FANS. GO GIANTS! =]

Guys, Brace Yourself- Jessica Alba is Officially off the Market

It has been a rough couple of weeks for males; first Scarlett Johansson announces her engagement and now Ms. Alba is also off the market. Jessica's publicist officially confirmed today that she and her longtime boyfriend, Cash Warren, were married on Monday. The couple are expecting their first child, rumored to be a girl, early this summer. If it is any consolation to all of those heartbroken guys out there, Lindsay Lohan is still single, so there is still some hope after all.

Heidi & Spencer tip like A-holes? Say it's not so!

So, apparently over the weekend Mr. and Mrs. Douchenozzle, Heidi and Spencer, went out to eat and racked up a $783 bill. Common courtesy dictates that they should've tipped anywhere between $120 to $150. Spencer dropped 16 bucks. Watch out, everybody! High roller, comin' through!

Tony Romo Can't Sing

So, apparently Tony Romo is musically challenged. Maybe he's been taking lessons from Jessica. Take a look:

Jennifer Aniston in a bikini cupcaking with John Mayer

Here's photographic proof that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are, indeed, romantically involved. Nobody knows how the guy does it.

Amy Winehouse arrested again, world record in sight

Amy Winehouse has been arrested again making it the 2,567th time this month. This time it's for the video of Amy smoking crack and downing six Valium. Turns out that's illegal. Who knew?

If you don't think chipmunks can sing, well, BELEIVE it! Watch the video below for your amusement =)

OMG! 'American Idol' losing younger viewers

According to May 4, 2008 MSNBC news, young viewers for American Idol are decreasing from last year. Some people said that it is completely repetitive, and favors the dance contest Dancing with Stars. What do you think the future of this show will be? Do you feel it is repetitive?

Britney Spears attends Jamie Lynn's baby shower

Britney Spears returned to her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana to attend Jamie Lynn's baby shower this weekend. Relatives say Britney took to her old banjo like a cousin taking his mother in a haystack.

David Blaine holds his breath for 17 minutes, breaks world record

David Blaine broke the Guiness World Record yesterday for holding one's breath. David held his breath underwater for 17 minutes 4 seconds. That's pretty amazing.